Claire's here...

Just wanted you to know that I am in fact not MIA, but Claire got here last night and I will probably be a little out of the loop for the next week. I am so happy that she is here and am loving every minute. It is so funny with the people closest to your heart, it is always so natural to be with them no matter where you are. We were walking around tonight and we both had this uncanny feeling that we had just been roaming around the streets together forever.

It is good for my heart.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

I guess CNN has been following my blog...

http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2007/12/22/vo.germany.christmas.lights.ap

Pre-Christmas State of the Wohnung Address

We've been getting lots of emails asking us how we are coping, so I thought I would do a blog for S<sup>3. (For those of you who don't know - being Sarah, Shannon and Steph we are referred to by our team as s cubed.) We are fine. Considering my family was here the day after Thanksgiving, Sarah's mom was here last week, and Shannon is currently in Austria with her parents. We are coping! I am not saying that it's all sleigh rides and jingle bells, but I feel confident to report that we seem to be doing well.

Some things that we've been doing to help bring the Christmas cheer in... We've been listening to Christmas music almost non-stop for a month. Sarah's and my favorite is Dolly Parton's Hard Candy Christmas, I think if Shannon ever has to hear the song again she is going to scream. We also really love Chipmunk Christmas which she seems to tolerate better, I make Sarah sing the, "me I want a hula-hoop" part.

We've been eating sugar foods as if they will not be available again to us after January 1st. Cookies, cookie dough, hot chocolate, M&M's, crepes... it can't be good.

We have been reporting any kind of light precipitation from the sky as snow... even if it's just dense fog.

We talk about our Christmas tree Charlie like he's a person. We also have his lights on all the time. For anyone who knows European culture this is very taboo. It's energy inefficient. We don't care. Charlie needs light and we love him.

We watch Christmas movies, like Elf, a lot. When we are not watching it, we quote it.

We are actively participating in all cultural Christmas activities. Going to the Weihnachts Markt as much as possible, bought the cheap seats at the Nutcracker... you know the kind where you have to lean forward and crane your head left and then you can kind of see half the stage, had our girl friends over and cooked one of their families traditional Christmas meals, and we are drinking as much Lumumba and Glühwein as morally appropriate.

We have the opportunity to serve the homeless Christmas Eve and our dear friends the Tarters have opened up their home to us Christmas Day where we plan to eat... Tex-Mex.

We will keep you updated on the shenanigans ahead! If you have any suggestions that we might have missed - we will take them. We are all about new traditions and adventures, so don't hold back!!!

We love you guys! Merry Merry Christmas.</sup>

here...

Just so you know, not one person has noticed I did it, so I guess it's not as dramatic as I thought.

Brown

The new color of my hair. Pictures to follow.

In other words

Someone told me tonight that they read my blog sometimes and feel like they will never get that five minutes of their life back... That and that my stories have no point... Exactly. It's a blog, it's where people go to ramble publicly. Normally I would do this to you over dinner or in the car, but we don't live in the same place, so I blog my randomness. If you don't like it, if you miss those five minutes (as if you have something better to do, really, if you're actually taking the time to click the link to the blog, you've got the five minutes to "waste.") don't read it. You're not hurting my feelings, no one is using water torture techniques to make you sit and read my rambling. Free will friends, live it, love it, exercise it but don't read my blog and then complain to me about it. EVEN I UNDERSTAND THE FLAW IN LOGIC THERE, geez.

OK, all kidding aside (sweat Jeannie S is probably worried that I am really hurt, don't worry Jeannie I am OK, my feelings weren't hurt, it was some good natured teasing from a friend) I decided that I am getting rather boring so I would share some words that have been inspiring me lately, not mine, others. Hopefully they will be no waste of your minutes.

Dear Child of God, I am sorry to say that suffering is not optional. It seems to be part and parcel of the human condition, but suffering can either embitter or ennoble. Our suffering can become a spirituality or transformation when we understand that we have a role in God's transfiguration of the world. And if we are able to be true partners with God, we must learn to see with the eyes of God--that is, to see with the eyes of the heart and not just the eyes of the head. The eyes of the heart are not concerned with appearances but with essences, and as we cultivate these eyes we are able to learn from our suffering and to see the world with more loving, forgiving, humble, generous eyes.
-Desmond Tutu, God Has a Dream

Dear Child of God, all of us are meant to be contemplatives. Frequently we assume that this is reserved for some rare monastic life, lived by special people who alone have been called by God. But the truth of the matter is that each one of us is meant to have that space inside where we can hear God's voice. God is available to all of us. God says, "Be still and know that I am God." Each one of us wants and needs to give ourselves for quiet. We can hear God's voice most clearly when we are quiet, uncluttered, undistracted--when we are still. Be still, quiet, and ten you begin to see with the eyes of the heart.
from Desmond Tutu's book A Vision of Hope for Our Time

Weihnachten

Well, we did it. We managed to pull of the Christmas Party. It was wonderful! Lots of family and friends there, people came in off the street. We never managed to get to Merry Christmas from the Family, we are hoping Robert Earl will understand. We... that's right. I sang with the band. Unbeknown to William, I turned my mic off for most of it. You can force a girl on stage, but you can't make her sing. Well... except for I'll Be Home for Christmas, which I sang all alone with just William on the acoustic guitar. And NO, I didn't cry. But I could have.
Honestly, I am not sure that we quite knew what to expect from the party. We shopped and cooked for days in preparation. We made a vat of Artichoke Spinach dip, had Antioch meatballs (this is what we call Noel's meatballs to annoy him - he is convinced because we have them at so many events that people are going to say, "Oh, you go to Antioch. I love their meatballs.), shrimp, antipasto supreme, Simosas, Chicken Kebabs (a tribute to Flight of the Conchords), a chocolate fountain and Kerry & Joerg tended bar all night. It was pretty unbelievable. We think somewhere in the area of 70ish people showed up. Pretty cool considering last year, with the team, they had 30 people. They must have heard on the street that we would be doing Karaoke (the girls and I sang Wake Me Up Before You Go by Wham - it was FANTASTIC!) I am not going to lie, it was a long few days. I think that I can say honestly that I am close to as tired as I have ever been in my life. The Christmas holidays could not come at a better time. From Poland... OH MY GOSH!!!! Did we ever talk about Poland?????

It was SO fun! You guys, really! The kids were a riot. We had the most fun games, activities, snacks, skits - the whole thing. We got to paint faces (I painted faces! Can you believe it?) Wanja and I let kids beat us in sack races, even though we knew we could have won. Tanja, Rahel and Sarah did and INCREDIBLE job thinking up stuff that would be fun and entertaining for the kids. We took each of them a shoebox full of stuff and it was so fun to see them tear in to them and they were so thankful and excited. It was a really special time. It was also our first opportunity to add people to our group that are not a part of the church. This has been a big dream of mine, as a church to figure out how to get anybody involved with our Social Justice causes that wants to be. It was really incredible and worked better than I could have imagined on so many levels. What was really cool, was at the end of the night when Wanja spoke to all the kids. Here is this huge, ex-NFL Europe football player talking (who just let half of them beat him at the sack race) to them about his life and what is really important. It was really sweet and I loved that it was a native European sharing with them, not one of us. Also, they were mesmerized by him, which was pretty cute also!

So, here we are. Sunday we had a children's party at church. We served the leftover food from Friday night (I am convinced our circle of friends are the most well fed people in Berlin!) and had a great, long, laid back morning. I think we were all still exhausted from Friday night. Sunday night we went to the Weihnarchts Markt as a staff and drank Glühwein and Lumumba. We had a wonderful dinner at a great restaurant and laughed and laughed and laughed. I do feel a little like I got hit my a truck, I am definitely falling asleep later than normal and waking up at the same time, so the recovery from a 24 hour day on Friday has been a little slower than I would wish, but hey, it's Christmas!

I hope that each of you are doing so well. Thank you for reading this blog. I am always so encouraged and humbled by your sweet notes of encouragement. It is fun to feel like we are keeping up somehow (I wish I could make each of you write a blog so I knew what was going on with y'all! ) Of course, it is true, I am missing you guys more this Christmas season, but it is my prayer and wish that no matter where you are this season is full of great joy and simple love. Send messages and pictures of all the Christmas escapades in your world! Love y'all. (please note in the photo to the left I definitely have the pointers out and the lady I am dancing with is in ALL leather - WOW - that's sharp. Really sharp.)

It's, like, a new post.

Charlie Brown and Failed Immunity

What I like to think of as my impenetrable immune system has failed me. I have no idea why, but I am not happy about it. I am not much on being sick... Here is an example; I had a team meeting this morning and I went just like normal. Sure, my nose is a little runny, my eyes have that glassy look, I sound like I work for some shady 1-900 company... but there are no tell-tale signs that I am sick, like not participating in life or anything. At the end of my meeting everyone kept saying things like, "Bye, hope you feel better." I never said anything about illness or feeling bad, what a presumptuous herd of people. THEN my roommate, of all people, asked if I felt up for going with her on an errand - the woman lives with me and can see that I am not letting my weak immune system win this war. Needless to say I went with her, if not simply to prove that I could. Between us though, I am sick.

Something that I am learning about myself is that I am not a comfort eater, I am a comfort cooker. Funny huh? When I am sad or (I almost said 'was auch immer' which is kind of the German version of whatever - I've done it twice in two days) whatever I bake. Keep in mind, I am not a sweets addict like most people, ice cream, cookies, cakes can live in my fridge until they go bad... But, when I am feeling a little under the weather I bake, here it's been chocolate chip cookies. I get upset and find myself madly combining the two dry mixes. Very bizarre, today for some reason it was pumpkin bread.

Why the sad? Who knows, maybe it's all the darkness outside, maybe I am homesick, maybe it's the cold, maybe it's the sickness, maybe it's the absence of my family - who knows. It's one of those can't put my finger on it kind of moods. It was the perfect mood to bake in.

I bought a Christmas tree yesterday. Just in case you ever move to Germany please know that your idea of Christmas tree and theirs is very different. We think something like an Alpine Fur and they think something like Charlie Brown Christmas. And I am not kidding. Like droopy branches et al. I went with Noel yesterday to the hardware store to buy his. Due to the new life that I live, it was not like buying Christmas trees in the past. (Jordan, Jamie - purple glass balls?) I definitely did the tree on a budget, and not necessarily because I could financially afford to spend 50 euros on Christmas tree stuff, but more because I could not emotionally afford not to. Even at that, I cried when in the hardware store when all of the sudden I realized they were playing "I'll Be Home for Christmas." Rough. Not a lot of emotional support from the German men in the hardware store. Thankfully I got to Noel and Cooper very quickly and they turned the mood around with tales of Christmas trees past.

So, last night Sarah and I put the Christmas music on and decorated our little Charlie Brown tree. I sit in my room with the door open so that I can stare at it. Noel and Amy donated some of their extra stuff, so we put a few Christmas candles up, some plastic candied fruit in bowls and all of the sudden it feels like Christmas in the living room! It is wonderful. I was just thinking as I was typing that it doesn't really smell a lot like Christmas, but then I thought, maybe that's why I felt compelled to do pumpkin bread instead of cookies, so it would smell a little more like Christmas. And it does, nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon. Mmmmmmm.

In case you thought I was exaggerating about Charlie Brown, here is a picture of our little tree. I keep waiting for Snoopy to come bounding in the living room...

Kaiya Layne

Kaiya Layne Formby was born on November 27th at 8:48am.

She was 7 lbs, 19 inches.

She's here! I thought you might all want to meet her. She's too cute for words and she already seems to know that I am going to give Summer a run for her money in the favorite Aunt category.

New Days

I love the morning. Don't laugh, I think we all know that I don't love the morning like that sounds. I hate the mornings in that sense. The whole waking up, even your brain, it's just a daily challenge for me. I do however love the new start, the sense of a new beginning. No matter how bad today is you get to start over in the morning, it's a whole new go at it.

It's not that I have these terrible days, it's just there are harder days than others and when you get to the end of a hard day, you are always so grateful. "Whew. It's over." But think, without the morning there would be little to get excited about, you would be left on your own to cultivate the energy and inertia to get out of the slump. The newness given in the mornings, it is what I lean into, and sometimes cling to and rely on in this stage of life.

It's kind of fun though. I love the thought that I can give each day all that I've got and by any standard, if I "succeed" or "fail" (whatever those words mean) I still get to start again the next day to do better, to give more, to learn more, to love deeper... All new, renewed, energized and invigorated for what's ahead. Especially if you talk to me in the afternoon... I am actually not so great at the mornings part of mornings.

For those of you curious about the fam's visit. It was wonderful, too fast and more than I could have wished for. Marla and I occasionally found ourselves in the same color combos, as we did, this, the last night of she and Kenny's visit. I guess we didn't care, we never went back and changed clothes as a result. This was at Zoe's right before a delicious Tuna dinner! My first here in Berlin, and my first since Chicago. I was incandescently happy.