Blog Thoughts

So, I am working on my budget and waiting on some info from my home office regarding a couple major pieces to plug in before I am done... So I thought I would do a little updating.

Here's the deal. I got a note from my family, who are always looking out for my best interest, often more than I am... and they encouraged me to think through the Blog and what I am posting on it. This suggestion did not surprise me for - for multiple reasons. One - they have a point, it's not always best when applying for a job to have that kind of info on line (let's be honest though, it's generally stuff that I would share anyway if not up front - eventually, and I probably wouldn't want to work for someone who wouldn't be OK with it if they knew it.) Two - They are a different generation, and though they seem to read the Blog I am not sure how much they love the philosophy of posting anything about your personal life online for the free world to read. Not to say a lot of people in my generation are, but it's more common and socially acceptable for sure. 3 - It's just not at all their style.

So one of the bits of perspective they offered was that if I thought it was therapeutic for me, I should talk to my therapist and see what they thought. Well, I don't really do it because I find it therapeutic, not to say that it isn't - perhaps it is, but I do have a private blog that I write much more intimate and different stuff on and that one is my more therapeutic and abstract and creative one... This one I have kind of seen as the one bringing people along with me and letting them know my process and for those of you that it has spoken to, kind of using it as a place to say if I can do it, you can do it. It's clear that I have struggled the whole time with what my voice should be here... I get consistent reminders from home that this is public, our family reads it etc. And to be honest, I really hate that I have to write with that consideration in mind. I've stated that before. If you don't want to read this, don't. However, they have a point and so I find myself kind of steered by that.

I am also steered by the emails that I get from you guys telling me how much something I shared meant to you. How much my honesty has liberated you or made you feel like something you've kept secret and hidden didn't need to remain in the shadows. THAT IS WHY I WRITE HERE - I want people to not feel alone. I want to help people who have felt the same anxiety, panic and fear as me that maybe we have screwed our lives up beyond repair, or that we are alone, or simply the occasional reminder that the world is an incredibly funny place.

So, my therapist suggested a happy medium. This blog was originally called Cricket in Berlin. I am no longer in Berlin, and I am not sure when I will head back, but for sure this stage of my life is over. At the end of this week I will take this Blog completely private. That way I will not lose the writing, and if someone wants access to something on it, like the ADHD post or the Marathon post which are hands down the two most read and commented on - and two I might consider re-posting in a different location - you can ask for an invitation and I will send it to you, but then I will have control who has access to the information.

THEN I will create one public blog. There I will post my photos, adventures, musings, music, links etc. I will also edit my private blog, re-post the edited version and maintain it with my more personal musings and anyone who is interested in reading that one can contact me and I'll send you an invitation. That way there is some control over who is reading that, and I do not have to cater to a reading audience, anyone who asks for an invitation to that one knows what they are getting into. Seems like a good idea to me.

I want to continue to develop my writing, and the ability to write in the moment and be totally forthright feels crucial to me - but at some level, my family is right, that is not something that the WWW should have the honor or possibility to read.

So there you go. That's the big news. And there are some people in Austin, TX breathing a big sigh of relief right now.

Back to my budget. Shoot me now.